Columns
Their Wedding Is B.Y.O.F. & Her Long-Distance Husband Confessed To An Affair
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
DEAR CAT: File this one under weird wedding reception requests. I received an invitation to a work friendâs wedding. After the invitations went out, I received a phone call requesting that I bring a covered dish for the reception. I have never heard of such a thing. I think it’s weird and in poor taste and I am rethinking attending. Have any of your readers had an experience like this? — SHAKING MY HEAD
DEAR SHAKING: Youâre looking at this all wrong – few things are classier than arriving at a wedding, dressed in your finery, smelling of lukewarm lasagna. I agree it is an odd request. Itâs also ill-mannered since it came post-invitation and via phone. Iâm all for simple weddings but a potluck sceneâ¦letâs not go there. As for my readersâ experiences, letâs ask them! Please share your examples of âweird wedding requestsâ at Catscall.com. One last pointâ¦Catâs Call: If you do attend the wedding, eat before you go.
DEAR CAT: One year into our three year marriage my husband joined the military and I fully supported his decision. We still talk and email everyday and try to see each other once a month, but we have grown apart; I have my life and he has his. I am still in love with him but earlier this year he confessed to an affair with a woman in his unit. I was furious, though I understood we were both feeling lonely, but I didnât act on my loneliness. Iâve seen a psychologist about this and suggested he see a counselor but he refuses (there is a stigma about seeking therapy in the military.) I am absolutely devastated. I canât trust my husband anymore. I don’t understand why I wasnât enough for him. One minute I want to forgive him, the next minute I question his every move. Iâve become “that girl” who calls his friends to check on his whereabouts. I hate sitting alone on a Saturday night knowing heâs been unfaithful, yet I am too distraught to consider anyone else. I fear Iâve lost trust in men and I can’t face any more rejection. What is your call on this? — JILTED WIFE OF A SOLDIER
DEAR JILTED: Iâm sorry this happened to you and I sincerely hope your therapy allows you to understand the most important point: your husbandâs infidelity is not your fault. You werenât inadequate in any way, nor were you forgotten. The lure of cheating is an unfortunate hurdle faced by many couples separated by time and distance. Donât pressure yourself to get out there on the dating scene. Despite his affair and your anger, you are still a married woman who loves her husband. Plus, as you said, youâre distraught, resentful and untrusting; those are hardly good starting points when seeking a new relationship. It may not seem like it now, but eventually youâll feel like yourself again. As for your marriage, if you decide to stay together, once heâs back home and you establish a normal routine, maybe you can work through this and start over. If notâ¦Catâs Call: That wonât be your fault either.
Whatâs your call? Share it below! Submit column questions here or send snail mail to: Catâs Call, Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, 34 Blvd. of the Allies, Pittsburgh, PA 15222.
OK, the invitation should have included that the event was going to be a potluck. Perhaps your gift to couple can be a casserole and forgiveness for blowing off some points of etiquette and tradition. It’s easy: if you want to celebrate the wedding of this friend then wrap up a dish and go!
Maybe’s call: Even I would draw the line at potluck AND a cash bar.
— Maybe Not, Pittsburgh, PA 08/17/2010 Reply
A few years ago, I received a similar invitation. It was for someone I considered not even much of an acquaintance, and I had prior plans, so I didn’t attend. But my feelings were that it is inappropriate to have a potluck reception, no matter what the size or budget. I understand that money is tight for many people right now, but I think it’s more appropriate to have a small ceremony with cake and punch immediately following than to have a potluck. I just picture tables filled with picked over, empty 13X9 pans and 100 guests trying to manage a bite of this or that, and I cringe.
— Kathy, Pittsburgh 08/17/2010 Reply
I’m shaking my head too. This is one for Jeff Foxworthy. You might be a redneck if….
— Dawn in Pittsburgh 08/17/2010 Reply
My wife and I have attended more weddings in the past five years than I thought I’d attend in my life. They were all normal except for one which encouraged people to bring their pets “to share the joy.” We didn’t bring our two dogs or the cake wouldn’t make it until dessert. We are animal lovers but we didn’t love coming home with dog fur and slobber on our nice clothes.
— John 15219 08/17/2010 Reply
Hi Cat. Thanks for running my letter today. Believe it or not, I have a second weird wedding story. I know two in one lifetime, who would have thought. About ten years ago our pastor’s daughter was married in our church. The entire congregation was invited plus family and friends. After sitting through the wedding in 90 degree heat and humidity, the wedding ends and we believe we are proceeding to the church hall for a normal wedding reception. Ahhh not so fast. My husband and I exit the church to find a large limo type tour bus and the aunt of the bride herding certain people onto the bus and the lowly church folk are being shuttled into the hall. Apparently the friends and family of the bride and groom were being whisked off to a fancy hotel downtown for a sit down dinner. The church people were treated to cookies and punch. Needless to say, we turned on our heels and went home. Sad to say, I gave up Steeler tickets for that night. If only I would have had a crystal ball we would have gone to the game. P.S. The daughter’s divorce becomes final next month.
— Shaking My Head 08/17/2010 Reply
I was invited to a college friend’s wedding that asked people to dress in the ‘hues of nature.’ It was two years ago and I still don’t know what it meant. Many guests wore beige-type colors…to look like tree trunks without bark??? I deduced evening wedding + summer = little black dress with sparkles. I planned to defend my choice by saying “a starry sky is natural.” Luckily I didn’t have to LOL.
— Claire in Chicago 08/17/2010 Reply
I agree that the potluck reception should have been explained in the invitation, but I see nothing wrong with it – especially if the wedding as a whole is more casual. I am far more appalled at the outrageous amounts of money that are spent on contemporary weddings – especially when the bride and groom or their families have to go deep into debt to foot the bill. (And then guests are expected to cough up an expensive gift to help compensate for the over-blown wedding production.) It is THEIR day. They can plan it the way they see fit. If a simple pot luck dish is too much trouble or to “weird” for you to contribute, then you likely aren’t very close to the bride or groom and they probably made a mistake inviting you in the first place.
— Fred in Pittsburgh 08/17/2010 Reply
A couple observations: I hope Jilted listens to what Cat has to say. Plain and simple, what happened was not her fault. She evidently has behaved admirably and her husband simply did not. As for Shaking, and all the other strange wedding stories … the world is really spiralling down, but I’m glad some of us realize that; if we realize it, maybe there is hope. lol.
— Carm in Pittsburgh 08/17/2010 Reply
Hi Cat,
I got married 6 years ago and we had very little money.We had a huge picnic type reception,mostly close friends and family attended.We bought the beer, wine and soda, and i asked everyone else to supply the food.My close nit group of people came thru without a hitch. We had so much food leftover I was sending it home with the guests afterwards.
— Jeannie Pittsburgh 08/17/2010 Reply
I think I have one that ties, if not beats, Shaking my Head for wedding weirdness. Two words – cash bar. I attended a wedding reception at a nice hotel banquet room where, to be fair, there was keg beer. But, if you wanted bottle beer, a glass of wine, or a mixed drink – that’s right, ante up, because they had a freaking cash bar!!! I had never seen anything so tacky in my life. I was embarassed for the new couple, because everyone was mocking them – apparently they didn’t realize (or were too cheap to care) how cheesy it was to have a cash bar at a wedding.
— Ben - Virginia 08/17/2010 Reply
Yes wedding costs are outrageous these days and a couple has every right to plan whichever kind of celebration they want but the fact is a potluck type reception is unsanitary because there is no “quality control.” If it is a tiny party and everyone is a close family member or friend that’s a bit different, then it’s like a 4th of July cookout but it is disgusting to ask guests to bring “a covered dish” to a wedding where money is obviously being spent anyway. I would send a nice gift and not attend!
— Teresa PGH 08/17/2010 Reply
I’ve been all over the world and the poorest people wouldn’t ask wedding guests for anything. That’s like hosting a dinner party and asking your guests to provide the dinner part of it. Don’t go to the wedding. And don’t buy an expensive gift to make up for your non-attendance. Go to Bed Bath and Beyond and get them a gift certificate to cover the cost of THEIR OWN COVERED DISH. That way when they get a similar inviation from someone in the future they won’t have any excuse to say no.
— JB bay area 08/17/2010 Reply
I went to a potluck wedding reception 20 years ago.
The invites just said something like: in lieu of a gift please bring a covered dish in one of these categories. The bride and groom sponsored the main course – the guests provided the sides.
It was an outdoor, super-casual, summer wedding.
yes – it was kind of a hippy sort of thing (those were the years) – but it was nice.
I have a MAJOR problem with a cash bar.
two choices: open bar or a glass of wine poured table-side. But having something that you cannot afford is silly.
— potluck - 08/17/2010 Reply
Go back ten years and I would say that this is a bizarre request but, stepping out of my hometown zone, I realize that not everyone does it like they do in a big city. We have friends in rural Virginia, near the Kentucky border, where this is the way the reception is done. Many people there do not have the funds to put on a big event and so they do the reception as a community event (think barn-raising).
For one wedding, the family rented a hall and that was the extent of the purchasing. The bride and groom’s families spent the night before at the hall hanging decorations, covering tables, bringing in the drinks, cups, utensils, and etc… A friend of the family made the cake. A friend was the DJ. The main courses were made by the bride and groom’s families and the side dishes came from guests.
The other wedding was similar except for the bar was paid for with the hall. All the food was made or donated by family and friends. This reception only consisted of eating and watching the B&G open gifts (sorta like a shower).
Both weddings were a great time because it is family and friends, not what fancy food you are given, that make the event special. We ate fried chicken, baked beans and potato salad and it was fine. And, by the way, the food is not the gift to the bride and groom as someone suggested.
My suggestion,,, get your nose out of the air and join the fun. The wedding is not about what you get out of it. It is about the bride and groom celebrating with friends and family.
— Dan - Pittsburgh 08/17/2010 Reply
Would I want to go to a potluck wedding? No. If I already RSVP’d saying I’d attend and then got a call asking me to bring food, I’d still go and worry a lot about what to bring. To “Dan in Pittsburgh” It’s very bad manners to ask guests after the invitations are sent out to contribute to the wedding…It’s not snobby to resent being asked to provide the food for who knows how many guests?? Do you bring 12 brownies or 50? Do you take home your dirty dish after everyone has picked through it? Ick! If you want a guest to bring food, say so in the invite. Otherwise you have no business hitting up guests for anything since you know they’re spending on a gift anyway, and maybe even traveling in for the event.
— Kathleen, South Side 08/17/2010 Reply
We got married just a week ago and the pot-luck, and BYOB party were a rousing success. I supplied the beer and people did or didn’t bring something. A friend, instead of bringing a dish brought his hot dog cart and served free dogs. Good quality frankfurters at that. Instead of a band some of my friends got together and played a free-form jam. In the end, everybody said how much fun it was, that it was unique. Remembering the smile on my wife’s face makes me see it as the perfect wedding.
— Don, Indiana PA 08/17/2010 Reply
Re: the wedding:
[Sigh] Yes, yes, I know, I know⦠it would be a much more pleasant world if everyone did things EXACTLY the way we, the infallible arbiters of class and taste, wanted them to. I mean, how DARE she spoil your enjoyment of her wedding by asking you to do something you consider to be déclassé? The nerve! After all, the whole point of the wedding is to entertain you, right? … in the manner which you expect, right?
I guess I must be getting old because these days I look upon people in a more generous manner than I did a few decades ago. I try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt and to read only the best of motives in everyone. Who knows what prompted the request? Perhaps there was a change in someone’s financial situation after the wedding invitations went out and the couple didn’t know what else to do. Under the right (or wrong!) circumstances you might find yourself doing exactly the same thing.
Regardless of the reason it is only a small bother to comply with the request. Stop at Giant Eagle, pick something up in the deli department and go to the wedding.
Right now the bride-to-be has just finished reading Cat’s column in today’s Post Gazette and – recognizing herself being ridiculed is absolutely DYING of embarrassment. Is her public humiliation the kind of payback you wanted to exact for her âweird” request? Bet you helped make HER wedding day memorable, huh? Make you feel better?
— Bob, Pittsburgh 08/17/2010 Reply
I’m sorry, but when you have a wedding reception you are supposed to be the host. Which means you provide the food and beverage. If you can’t afford it, then either cut your guest list or have a small dessert and punch reception during a non meal time. There are other options. If you can’t afford it, you don’t have it. Asking your friends and family to chip in for the food is rude and extremely tacky. I don’t care how casual of an event it is.
And Bob, she should be embarassed! Maybe she will now have the decency to call her GUESTS and tell them that dinner will be provided for them.
— kim 08/17/2010 Reply
Regarding the comment from “Bob, Pittsburgh” it’s not about making the bride feel bad….well maybe it is but after being invited to a wedding people shouldn’t be ‘surprised’ to learn it’s not enough to buy a gift and attend, which can cost money just to get there, but also to bring food??? Want to have a potluck wedding – FINE, but tell people beforehand! I wouldn’t call this a weird wedding request I’d call it downright horrible manners. Never ever ever ever have I heard of sending out invitations THEN calling people to ask them to bring food. Being a guest is an honor, on the one hand, and a burden for some because you have a buy a gift, travel there (often, anyway), buy something to wear (often) and take time off. You want to do this when you care for someone but there’s a limit, and the social convention of knowing your guests are there to celebrate with you and for you, but not at their own expense beyond whatever the invitation stated.
— Marie in Cleveland, OH 08/17/2010 Reply
Having 3 children, and hosting 3 incredibly beautiful weddings in a row, not regretting any of them, I recently attended a wonderful wedding reception that was appetizers, simple bar, plastic cups, and a DJ. The couple paid for it themselves, and I thought it was one of the nicest receptions I have ever attended. It was about the “couple” and not about the guests. Weddings are a business, and I truly appreciated the reception celebrating the couple. My husband and I spent so much money (on people we didn’t know and will never see again), which was great for our children. I am thankful we were able to do that for them. But I believe our society has lost touch of simply celebrating the couple’s day. I would never hesitate in bringing a dish if asked. Actually, I would love to do that. Ah, for all those who judge, wait until you have to give a wedding. It will cost you thousands of dollars on people you don’t know. What you spend on their meal typically does not equal to the amount 90% give as a gift. I would like to see it go back to the times when it was simply about the couple, again saying this with 3 extravagent weddings behind me. Congratulations to the newlyweds, and may you be very blessed. And for those who brought dishes to their reception, you must feel good knowing you were helping the couple get a good start on their future. I wouldn’t think twice.
— Barbara - Pittsburgh 08/17/2010 Reply
I lived in Colorado for several years a few years back .. and I can top the food request…. the wedding I went to was held in the activites room in a very nice condo complex… Unfortunately thats where anything nice ended …. The judge who presided had just sentenced one of the guests sons the week prior so she cursed out the judge after dragging a chair up front to make sure she couldnt get away after performing the ceremnoy .. Next they passed a hat for a liquor store run… and when it came time to toast the bride and groom the groom refused until his mother returned from the liquor store run!!!!!…. Then when it was time to shut everything down…. there was fight between families about who was taking what left over liquor was still there and who bougth what etc…. And last but not least we had to help clean up and put the furniture back so they could get their deposit on the room back…. now top that one … lololol
— rhonda pgh pa 08/17/2010 Reply
I want to comment on the “potluck reception”: I was married very young, and my parents were more than glad to get rid of me. At any rate, we were married in a civil ceremony in February, and in May my parents decided they wanted to have “something” for us, since we were married out of state during the winter. Guess what that something was? You guessed it! It was horrible!!!! I’d have rather had nothing than to have had what I had. The marriage didn’t last and, fortunately, I remarried and had something much nicer, … which my 2nd husband and I paid for!!!!
— Janet P.; Pittsburgh, PA 08/17/2010 Reply
I see nothing wrong with a pot luck wedding reception. Weddings are about two people making a commitment to one another and sharing their joy with their friends and family. The reception is just a way to celibate that day. The most important part of the wedding is the ceremony itself; the reception is just a party. I think that in today’s culture, we place too much emphasis on material things and forget what is truly important at a wedding, the bride and groom’s love for one another.
One more thing, just to put everything in perspective, I recently came across an article in the Indiana Gazette about my great grandfather’s wedding in the early 1900s, a couple hundred friends and family were there, it was at a family members house, dinner was served at trestle tables in the yard, and it was pot luck.
— Eric - Pittsburgh 08/17/2010 Reply
isn’t a wedding about sharing in people’s commitment to one and other? about the community coming together and celebrating that? If that’s what a wedding is about, then a potluck is not a big deal. But, in this age of “cheap” weddings costing $30,000, I guess a potluck invite could be a big insult to some!
Go to the wedding. Bring something you take great delight in making. Enjoy it with friends.
— cat (not cat's call), pittsburgh 08/17/2010 Reply
Cat – the wedding is the time when the couples exchange vows and sign the marriage certificate. No one is entitled to a reception, especially if they can’t afford it. You shouldn’t have to rely on your guests to supply the food and beverage for a party in your honor….think about it.
— kat 08/17/2010 Reply
There is nothing wrong with a “Potluck” wedding and I have to disagree that it is weird and in poor taste. I know a couple who had a Potluck reception and to make it interesting they asked guests to bring food from different cultures. It was spectacular! The guests were asked to wear white (the bride and groom didn’t) and as the sun went down, it was a global feast.
So, this invited guest should reply “Nay” and send a gift, if so desired. It is really not that serious. If you have no intentions of actually celebrating the happiness of the couple and you see the wedding as a chore or something beneath you- then it is best to stay home. It is nice to be nice but it is nicer to be honest.
— Yay or Nay- Pittsburgh 08/17/2010 Reply
I don’t have any weird wedding request experience but since I usually come here anyway to post my calls I want to take the opportunity to say the advice given by Cat to the distressed wife whose husband cheated was outstanding. All kidding aside from the question about potlucks the advice about how to deal with the hurt left by her husband’s affair ranks up there with the most sensitive, intelligent I’ve ever read. Bravo Cat.
— Carl, Erie 08/17/2010 Reply
At my wedding, the best man and I had a falling out which ended our 11 years of friendship. His girlfriend threw a fit as she didn’t like the table where she was seated. She felt she was at the “kids’ table”. It wasn’t; it was the table for guests of members of the wedding party who were not in the wedding (although a few of them did LOOK young, including one engineer). She threw the fit, making herself look very bad, and also had changed into a skin tight, gold lame dress under which she had no undergarments. She also was not the most slender of our wedding guests shall we say. To this day, 9 years later, if someone who attended the wedding mentions “Goldie” everyone who was in attendance knows the reference!
— Big D, Atlanta 08/17/2010 Reply
I’ll see your covered dish and raise ya. My brother just returned from a “destination wedding.” At the end of dinner, the waiters came around with their checks. Stunned, he mindlessly handed him his credit card. Had it been me, you would have already known about it. It would have been in all the papers.
— TRob, Silver Spring MD 08/17/2010 Reply
I don’t know squat about weddings and etiquette (although I know how to spell it, oddly enough).
For the woman whose husband is in the military:
Having served four years active duty in the late 1970s, I can tell you that at that time, the mores are very different from civilians. Affairs weren’t uncommon. And plenty of my fellow soldiers dated other men’s wives, including the wives of men who stood next to them at roll call each morning.
A friend of mine used to refer to what was going on as “the adultery sweepstakes where everyone is a loser.”
Now, I don’t know if things have changed since then, nor does it excuse what he did. I think the wife should confront the husband and give him a choice: Either be committed to the marriage or get out of her life for good. And that’s what it comes down for her.
Personally, I think it sounds as if the guy’s life is heading in a different direction, and she should cut him loose and move on with her life.
— Mike, Downtown 08/17/2010 Reply
Many years ago I attended a bridal shower for a high school friend in her church hall. When we asked the bride the date of the wedding, we were told it would be a “private ceremony” to be attended by just family at her fiance’s university church (otherwise, an undisclosed location). When I wrote to Emily Post … she responded something to the effect that the shower took the place of the reception. On the other hand, I also remember attending many “cake and punch” receptions in church hall’s after the ceremony. Another “Etiquette quote”, an invitation to an event does not obligate the invitee to contribute a gift, even when gift registry information is provided!
— Suzanne, Pittsburgh PA 08/17/2010 Reply
Regarding the potluck reception: Many people consider couples and guests to be in a sort of wedding “exchange.” The couple/their families pay for guests’ meals, and guests buy the couple gifts. That’s not a universal perspective, but it’s certainly workable. Given that concept, it seems that any request for guests to be responsible for the reception’s meal should de-obligate them from giving any other gift. In my mind, though a potluck reception seems rather strange, it’s the post-invitation-phone-call that is tacky…and the caller not giving the would-be guest a specific release from gift obligations makes it tacky squared!
— LV 08/17/2010 Reply
In response to weird wedding reception request…..I’m invited to a bridal shower for someone who has been together 10 yrs. Fiancé has always been a cheapo and makes her pay for everything. The only thing he’s responsible for is rehearsal dinner, of which there is none, and the booze for the wedding. The bridal shower theme is a “stock the bar” if you can imagine. Guests are to bring a bottle or beverage to “stock the wedding bar”! It’s claimed to be the latest rage to help cut the couples expenses. I say BS!
— Rita (Moon Twp, PA) 08/17/2010 Reply
I actually have attended a potluck wedding, but it was an unusual situation. The couple was to get married in the Bahamas (my husband and I weren’t planning on attending, as we had a 4 week old infant). However, 4 days prior to their wedding, the hotel and every other vendor involved in the ceremony pulled out due to an impending hurricane, so they rescheduled everything at the last minute, called some of the folks who originally couldn’t make it (like me!), and got married on a locally owned ship in Baltimore’s Inner Harbor. Because of the last-minute changes, everyone was asked to contribute a dish (there were party trays from Subway and Chick-Fil-A), and the bride and groom provided all the alcohol. It actually turned out to be a lovely affair, but came under very unique circumstances. I agree that this couple’s request is tacky and in poor taste. If you can’t afford a proper wedding, elope!
— Nancy 08/17/2010 Reply
I have wedding related tacky for you. I was invited to a Bridal Shower at a pricey resturant, we were told ahead of time we had to pay for our dinner and the bridal party would cover drinks and apps. I thought wow I have to pay for a gift and cough up $30 for dinner this stinks, but it was for an old college friend so I figured I would suck it up and go. I get there and enjoy the limited apps that were paid for and had a few drinks and ate my overpriced dinner. I get my bill for $65, yes thats right I had to pay for my dinner and drinks (which were about $8 for anything besides beer), the bridal party backed out of paying and told none of the guests. Tacky, Tacky, Tacky
— Samantha, Pittsburgh 08/17/2010 Reply
My husband and I had a potluck reception. We provided wine, beer brewed by a master beer brewer (my brother), my husband’s vegetarian wedding soup, and I made a two tiered wedding cake from scratch. We asked friends to bring a dish to share, if they’d like (optional). Our friends are very into good food, and like to cook for each other anyway, so they were excited to bring something. We ended up sharing an interesting and wholesome mix of things – far, far better than the tepid food one usually gets at multi-thousand dollar receptions. Yes, we were doing it that way because we could not afford to spend thousands of dollars, but we would not have spent it that way even if we could have. We weren’t interested in putting on that kind of show, we just wanted to have a fun party with everything tasting good.
— Helen, Pittsburgh 08/18/2010 Reply
Not a wedding, but the same premise: In the early 1990’s, my husband and I received an invitation to a baby shower which was held in a restaurant. The front of the invitation card stated the “where, when, what time” information and on the bottom was the word “over”. On the back of the card was written, “Bring money for dinner, a gift for the new family, and a sense of humor!” The woman hosting the shower provided the cake.
I didn’t want to go after reading that, but my husband did, because he worked with the guests-of-honor. As it turned out, the expectant mother could not be there as she had gone into labor and delivered her baby shortly before the shower. The new father opened the gifts, then called his wife on the restaurant’s pay phone, and asked the guests to come to the phone and congratulate the new mom. Wouldn’t you know, most of the guests (including my husband and I) obediently left our meals and stood in line at the pay phone. The best thing I got out of that party was learning the name of the bakery that the excellent cake came from!
— Diane Mousseau, Plum, PA 08/18/2010 Reply
It’s not snobby to not want to eat at…or contribute to…a potluck wedding reception. If you have a wedding party of 10 people, go ahead with the potlucks. If you have everyone and their brother plus colleagues, etc., forget it. Who wants to eat Aunt Mae and Cousin Edith’s world famous potato salad that’s been sitting in the car during the hot summer day’s drive to the wedding? Nobody, that’s who.
— Glen 08/18/2010 Reply
The tackiest wedding tradition I’ve ever heard of is what’s called a “stag-and-drag” party, the intention of which is to raise money for the wedding/reception/etc. I’m not sure if this is a NW PA thing – I never heard of it before I moved here. The idea is, the wedding couple host a “party” and provide picnic food and keg beer, which is usually paid for by the wedding party. Anyone can attend, not just the wedding invitees. There’s a price of admission, usually five dollars. As you eat your hot dogs and generic ruffled potato chips, the wedding party loudly and obnoxiously tries to hustle the guests into buying raffle tickets; the winner gets a case of beer or a bottle of booze, also often donated by the weding party. I’ve been to one or two of these, I admit, but have decided to boycott them in the future. None have ever been remotely fun, and it smacks of “you’re not invited to my wedding or reception, but you can come to my crummy party and give me lots of money anyway.” Just my opinion.
— Kristine, Erie PA 08/18/2010 Reply