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What's $20 To Save A Relationship & Time To Give Up On Her Old Flame
Tuesday, August 02, 2011
DEAR CAT: I think itâs very important to support small local businesses, not just big national chains, so I make a point to shop them in my neighborhood. Local store owners appreciate it and Iâve become friendly with many of them. Recently I bought a kitchen item at a household store but then I saw the same item at a big âboxâ store for twenty dollars less. Not twenty cents, twenty dollars! The big store has a price matching guarantee (if you see one of their items selling for less at another store, they refund you the difference). I tried to return the item to my small neighborhood store and when they asked why, I told them the truth. They said they donât take returns for that reason as âthey are not obligated to match another storeâs prices.â I feel very angry because Iâve supported them for years, now I donât want to shop there anymore. Whatâs twenty dollars to keep a good business relationship going? Your call? — FEELING GYPPED
DEAR GYPPED: So you like small neighborhood businesses but you get mad when they donât behave like huge national chains. Thatâs not true support, thatâs conditional patronage. Not all cars have the same warranty. Not all electronic stores have the same selection. Some stores offer free shipping, others donât. The onus is on you, the consumer, to comparison-shop and buy wherever you choose. If you like small neighborhood businesses so much, the choice is simple. Maybe not cheap, but simple. Whatâs twenty bucks to keep a good business relationship going? Catâs Call: The store owner could ask you the same question.
DEAR CAT: Years ago I met and fell in love with a young man and we got engaged. The marriage never happened because of many problems; his cheating, my family hating him, his dysfunctional family, friends, etc. We broke up but I have never stopped thinking about him. Since then Iâve had many relationships and he has too, one of which produced a child for him (now a teenager). Neither one of us ever married. Several years ago I called him and I learned he was supposedly in a relationship that isnât working. A few days after we spoke, his girlfriend called me. I told her we are just talking and we hadnât seen each other. He was supposed to call me again to make plans to see each other (he wanted me to meet his child), but he never called. I believe itâs because he was embarrassed and knew Iâd be angry that his girlfriend called me. Because of pride and anger I didn’t contact him. We never got a chance to discuss our real feelings and I am still feeling like I should contact him. â ON THE FENCE IN OHIO
DEAR FENCE: If a man really wants you, heâll try hard to make it happen. You werenât denied the chance to talk deeply about feelings – he could call you anytime, heâs just chosen not to. I can understand feeling like you have unfinished business but heâs a) in a relationship and b) not contacting you. Those are clear signs heâs not interested, or not interested enough. Whatâs more, he told his girlfriend about your conversation, which prompted her to call you, and he hasnât contacted you since then. Should you contact him again? Absolutely not. Itâs time to move on…Catâs Call: To someone whoâs single.
What’s YOUR call? Share it below! Submit questions to: questions@catscall.com or click here!.
Gypped lives under a rock if he/she thinks a small store could go toe to toe with a big chain. Everyone knows the small stores are more expensive, most of the time, that’s how it goes. I like how you say “the choice is simple, maybe not cheap but simple.”
— Marie,West End 08/02/2011 Reply
Regarding “GYPPED,” you either support your local merchants or you try to get everything as cheaply as possible.
The tradeoff with the local merchant is that you pay a higher price but you get to know the owner, who can sometimes cater to your needs. With a big box store, you get a cheap price but don’t get personalized service although you do get the repeated pitch for the extended warranty (no thanks).
In some cases, the small retailer doesn’t suit your needs. But when they do, you accept that you’ll pay more than you would online.
I’ll drop a note about the second letter later. I want to read it more closely.
— Mike 08/02/2011 Reply
On the first letter, there are many reasons for making shopping choices. I buy from places that always take returns, regardless of the reason. I know that I am paying more, but it is worth it to me if I can make hassle-free returns. What we don’t know is what percentage of the price was represented by the $20. If the small store charged $45. instead of $25. I think that is an excessive markup. On the other hand if it was $175. vs. $155., it’s less important. I would think that one of the benefits of shopping with a local merchant is that they would provide more personal service and would be MORE accommodating on returns, not less, in comparison with a big chain. Anyway, regardless of the reason, if you are dissatisfied with a store, vote with your wallet and don’t shop there.
On the second letter, he was a loser from the get-go. If he was cheating on her when they were engaged, there’s no reason to think anything has changed. Why on earth would she even call him again??? She should get counseling to find out why she has such a poor opinion of herself that she needs to seek “closure” with this bum.
— PB from NY 08/02/2011 Reply
ON THE FENCE IN OHIO,
It is time for you to either fall off the fence into Pennsylvania or climb down from the fence back into Ohio.
Either way, you would be doing yourself a great service.
I guess I will never be able to understand how certain people can “hang on” to someone who doesn’t want a relationship with him or her, or who is so immature that he or she would want or not see that that certain person is “hanging on” to something that is hanging by a thread from a broken beam.
Get on with your life. There are plenty of monkeys in the barrel.
— Lebron from Pittsburgh 08/03/2011 Reply
Dear Fence,
This was the strangest letter ever.
You broke the engagement b/c he was cheating on you – and for some reason your family hated him for it, and he had lousy friends …
You ran into him a few years ago – and his GIRLFRIEND called you.
Right.
So exactly what did you want to happen – he should cheat on her to see you? – and you are waiting years for this?
really.
surely you have heard “once a cheater – always a cheater”
what fence? get some barbed wire and stay far far away from this loser.
I agree with PB. Get some counseling. Explore why you are attracted to “bad boys” who behave badly – and why you hate yourself so much.
my call: you can do better – move on!
— fence - get barbed wire 08/03/2011 Reply
I agree except for the counseling thing (that would be a waste.) I think it is simple and they both want what they can’t have which is why they’ve had many relationships but no marriages. Hey Fence, he cheated on you and your family hated him and “many problems” in addition to those big ones. None of your other relationships have lasted and you’re feeling lonely. You gave your ex a call and he’s with someone else. I think it’s interesting that his girlfriend called you and you don’t explain that conversation here. And you’re still thinking of calling him again? Leave them in peace! Cat is right on, if he wants you he’ll do something about it.
— Cameron, Baltimore 08/05/2011 Reply