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Educate Yourself & Vote! Plus, Seeing A Friend In A New Light

Tuesday, November 04, 2008

DEAR CAT:I am one of the “undecideds” who honestly doesn’t know who to vote for. I know it’s hard to believe that someone can’t decide between two such different candidates but that’s really me! I am a 42-year-old man, and I’ve only voted twice before. My wife is voting Democrat, my sister is voting Republican. I’ve been in the middle of their arguments for months. I am not religious (unlike both candidates), I am on the fence about what the U.S. should do about Iraq (unlike both candidates), and I don’t trust politicians in general. If I’m still undecided at this point, should I bother voting at all? I don’t want to “waste” a vote. — JOE THE UNDECIDED

DEAR JOE: I don’t want you to waste your vote, either. Most of all I don’t want you to waste the opportunity to vote. But I won’t make this decision for you. I will ask that you take a few minutes to do the following: Find a quiet spot to sit down and read the Declaration of Independence. If it doesn’t inspire you to consider this country’s history, present and future, I can’t imagine what will. I received many “what should I do?” e-mails from undecideds over recent months, and I wrote to them what you are reading now. No matter what you choose to do today or for whom you choose to vote, remember…Cat’s Call: A thoughtful, educated vote is never a waste.

DEAR CAT: I’m in a confused state. I think I’m starting to view one of my good friends in a different light. On paper he’d be perfect for me. He’s a great person, and we have a lot in common. But paper doesn’t always translate to real life. He’s just not who I would typically picture myself with, and I’m more physically attracted to other guys. But a lot of people could see us together, and I’m starting to wonder if they’re right. I’m not ready to admit anything because I’m not sure if he’s really the guy for me or if this would even go anywhere. I wouldn’t want things to become awkward (a definite possibility if this turned out the wrong way). Your call? — CURIOUSLY CONFUSED

DEAR C.C.: Yep, this is why so many guys fear women’s platonic friendships with single men. Despite what your friends say, don’t rush to action and don’t worry about negative consequences — you never know if a relationship will go anywhere, whether it begins with friendship or romance. The not-knowing is part of the fun! Love is a funny thing. Sometimes it starts to shine for people who yesterday wouldn’t get a second look or a moment’s consideration. When it does, it’s impossible to ignore. Remember, even if you snagged your preferred “type,” that’s no guarantee you’d fall in love with him. That’s the old battle of paper vs. person. It’s closely related to the battle of attraction vs. love. Cat’s Call: You seem experienced enough to have already witnessed and survived both.

  1. Hi Cat, I imagine you’re excited about election day. I’ve read your stuff about politics and voting (including today’s column) and I agree, it’s very important for people to not waste their right to vote. I really love that you suggest the guy read the Declaration of Independence.

    — anonymous    12/06/2008    Reply

  2. Dear Cat, How can you possibly educate yourself? I never realized how bad the news coverage was in Pennsylvania until I lived in Florida for five years. In Florida the news media provides sample ballots, coverage of all the candidates, location of the polling places, and reasons for their recommendations. Florida also sends sample ballots to all registered voters. The Pennsylvania news media provides very little information and coverage of anyone other than the presidential candidates. Therefore, since I moved back to Pennsylvania I have made a habit of getting sample ballots at the polls and performing a final review before I go into the booth to vote. This year they would not let me see a ballot until I entered the voting booth. I could not understand how people could still be undecided, but I am beginning to see the light.

    — Bob R., Freeport, PA    12/06/2008    Reply

  3. Cat, I know you’re a very politically-aware person and I just want to share my thoughts about this election. No matter who somebody votes for, I feel honored to vote and I hope people follow your suggestion and think hard about which candidate reflects the inspiration this country was founded on.

    — Deb    12/06/2008    Erie, Reply

  4. Oh dear Cat! I was waiting for you to slam dunk that undecided guy!! How can ANYONE be undecided in this election?? I know you wanted to wash the floor with that guy! Admit it! I just came from the voting booth and I feel grrrreat. I do like your suggestion about reading the Declaration of Independence though. Good call, as usual. BTW, about the woman who’s starting to see her male friend in a romantic way – she should go for it.

    — Robert    12/06/2008    Michigan Reply

  5. I was going to write in about the woman who thinks she might like her friend romantically but I see everyone is commenting on the election so I will too! I stood in a long line this morning but I didn’t care. I feel like a huge weight has been lifted. I swear just the act of voting after all this build up made me feel better. But about the woman who likes her friend… she should just tell him 100% straight how she feels and then they can go slow, which is how they should proceed anyway! Of course this depends on him liking her too but maybe that was implied.

    — Sarah P. (not Palin!)    12/06/2008    Brooklyn Reply

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