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Best Pickup Line Contest + A Year Without A Date + Going Broke For A Baby Shower
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
DEAR CAT: Why is it so hard for a 25 year old guy to meet a decent girl these days? I feel it is getting harder and harder to meet a girl that wants a well rounded guy, rather than a guy they meet in a bar based on looks and cheesy pickup lines. I feel that I am a successful, good looking guy with a good personality but I haven’t had a date in over a year. My last real girlfriend was over two years ago. I am getting kind of sick of not having someone to be with. Is there any advice that you have for me. â GETTING LONELY
DEAR GETTING: You might be shocked to know a year without a date is not unheard of, especially for someone more relationship-oriented than date-fixated. Forget the idea that girls prefer cheesiness to sincerity and well-roundedness. For as much as we love to hear, âbaby, you must be tired because youâve been running through my mind all day,â such classy overtures donât actually work. Donât rely on nighttime and bars, you can meet girls in cafés, concerts, parties, the grocery store (yes, itâs true), bookstores (those are especially good places) or just walking down the street. Trust me, Iâve seen it happen. You just need a little bravery. And remember youâre not alone; your frustration with singleness is the reason why online dating sites make so much money. Catâs Call: On that note, go subscribe to one (or two!). Bonus Catâs Call: A special prize will be given to the person who submits the best or funniest cheesy pickup line.
DEAR CAT: I recently lost my job as my company did a ârestructuringâ and eliminated 200 jobs. Luckily I got a small severance to hold me over for a few weeks (hopefully Iâll find a job by then). My family and friends are aware of my situation and theyâve been very supportive. However, I just got an invitation to a friend’s baby shower. Honestly, I am little bothered by this. This friend knows I am unemployed and, frankly, I haven’t seen her in three years and I have since moved 3 hours away from her. Plus we talk only once every six months or so. Considering my financial situation, do I still have to send her a gift? My mother says to just send her something small but small gifts here and there eventually add up. What’s your call? — TOO POOR TO PARTY
DEAR TOO: I took an informal Cat Poll on this one and the vast majority shared your motherâs opinion. I dissented because unusual (and unusually trying) times can justify unusual responses. You are in a really tight spot and I doubt your friend wants anything more than for you to feel included among the invitees. Thereâs no way she would feel good accepting a gift under the circumstances, nor would she expect you to travel for the shower. If Iâm wrong about either of those things, sheâs not a good friend. Your momâs suggestion is certainly courteous and reasonable but instead of skimping for a plastic rattle, give a lovely gift down the road when youâre employed and financially stable. Catâs Call: Do send a card, though, and include a handwritten note.
Hey Cat, I have two bad pickup lines. 1. Anything that starts with calling the woman “sweetie” or “babe.” 2. Anything that ends with calling the woman “sweetie” or “babe.” Do I win the prize? What is the prize? I want to win it :)
— anonymous (pittsburgh) 02/17/2009 Reply
How about this one. “Can I have a quarter? I have to go call my mother to tell her I just met the woman I’m going to marry.” I never heard it used in person but it’s pretty good.
— J. erie, penn 02/17/2009 Reply
How about:
“Do you know karate? Because your body is really kickin’. “
I cringe mentally picturing someone saying it.
— Jon, Pittsburgh/Cleveland 02/17/2009 Reply
How about “Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?”
— Jon in Bradenton, FL 02/17/2009 Reply
I think the cheesiest line I ever heard of was “Do you believe in love at first sight or do I need to walk past again?”
— Cari, Allison Park 02/17/2009 Reply
“If I told you that you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?”
— Matt, Pgh 02/17/2009 Reply
“Your dad must be in jail, because he stole the stars from the sky and put them right in your eyes.”
— Joe, State College, PA 02/17/2009 Reply
Guy: Did it hurt ?
Girl: Did what hurt ?
Guy: When you fell from heaven, did it hurt ?
— Don, Pittsburgh 02/17/2009 Reply
i can’t wait until tomorrow because you get better looking every day
— larry,pittsburgh 02/17/2009 Reply
“If you can’t be with the one you love, honey, love the one you’re with.”
You may recoginze this as part of the lyrics to an old CSNY song if you are old enough.
— Frank, Gibsonia 02/17/2009 Reply
A friend in college actually used (for laughs):
“If I wrote the Book of Love, your name would be the first one in it.”
The girls usually laughed and then he struck up a conversation. The key was in the delivery.
— Karen C - Pittsburgh 02/17/2009 Reply
Guy with glasses: “I know I look like Clark Kent but when I’m inside of you, I feel like Superman” :throws off glasses:
— John, pittsburgh 02/17/2009 Reply
Hi Cat, I’m loving the pickup line contest this week but I have to make one comment about the bridal shower question: why are showers just for women? It is so stupid not to mention it relieves men of all the social burdens (gift costs, party planning, etc) associated with the 9 months prior to the woman giving birth. Yet no matter how financially strapped women are, they are considered bad friends if they don’t pony up. I’m sick of it!! Sorry I had to rant :)
— Leslie (brooklyn) 02/17/2009 Reply
First night in Honolulu, Hawaii, after an 8-hour flight from St. Louis with my friend, Karen. We went to a bar that night . . .
Smooth-talking guy: "What was it that brought us here together tonight? Was it fate? Was it destiny?"
Me (wanting no part of him): "No. For me it was my airline ticket."
— Judy, Schuylkill County, PA 02/17/2009 Reply
Use this pick up line while at either Kennywood or Sandcastle; two of the best places to use cheesy pick up lines. This was used at Sandcastle the summer of â98; it actually worked, to my surprise, on a very attractive young lady. Hang out by the cheese fry line (Potato Patch at Kennywood) and wait until some young lady, or young guy, walks up to get something to eat. Hopefully, they get some cheese fries to eat, which makes the pick up line all the more authentic and âcheesyâ. Approach the individual with the utmost confidence. Introduce yourself, exchange pleasantries, get the person to laugh and wonder what your intentions are. At this point they really donât know what to expect from the encounter and that is the exact point that you throw out the âcheese fry lineâ. It goes a little like this: âWhat do you say you give me your cheese fries and I will give you my phone number, that way I can call you this weekend and we can get to know each other; maybe go out on a few dates and see where things go from there. So what do you think about those cheese fries?â It started out as a joke but actually worked to perfection.
— R.W.M. Pittsburgh 02/17/2009 Reply
…so this guy walks up to me, stroking his fu-man-choo mustache, winks, and says, “Here. I was just clearing you a seat.” …SERIOUSLY?!?!!
— Kelly M, Gibsonia 02/17/2009 Reply
Did it work?
— Bruce, Florida Panhandle 02/17/2009 Reply
Cheesiest pick-up line: “Now that I’m here, what are your other two wishes?” or
“Hey baby, do you wanna learn carpentry, cause I got a lot of wood for you to play with.”
— Julia, Oakland 02/17/2009 Reply
When I lived in Pittsburgh, there was a listing for Foxy Lady in the phone book. I never used it in a bar (who carries around a phone book) or anything but basically used it on people I already knew. I would say “If I can guess your number, can I call you or is this your phone number?” Then I would rattle off the number. They would say “No.” Then I would ask “Are you sure?” and point to the Foxy Lady listing. It got a pretty good laugh.
— Chris 02/17/2009 Reply
“Baby, you’re finer than a split froghair.”
— Erik in Altoona 02/17/2009 Reply
I was in a dating drought and tried online dating. It worked. I didn’t meet the women of my dreams but it did boost my confidence. Be careful since it is a like a homeless person going to an all you can eat buffet. There are many choices to chose from but you might chose carefully.
— Jay - Pittsburgh 02/17/2009 Reply
You must be a parking ticket, ‘cause you got “FINE” written all over you.
— Stephen, Pittsburgh PA 02/17/2009 Reply
The worst pick-up line I’ve ever received came while I was swing dancing, which I do about once a week. As I was dancing with a middle aged man, he started gushing about what a great follow I was: “You’re so smooth. You’re like a fine European sports car.”
And to comment on Getting Lonely’s question, I am a 25 yr old dateless-for-a-year woman who is interested in a relationship and not on racking up the date totals. I meet plenty of nice and pleasant men, especially while dancing, but they aren’t really people I could see myself in a relationship with, so I don’t.
— Maura, Ann Arbor, MI 02/17/2009 Reply
“Are those Space Pants? Because your butt is out of this world!” Actually heard this said to my friend at Doc’s place in Shadyside.
— Jamie, Wexford 02/17/2009 Reply
Hi, Cat. Two pick up lines: “I’m invisible.” Then, she looks at me blankly and I say, “Can you see me?” She says “yes,” and I say “how about next weekend?”
And in the grocery store, I always say, “I heard the manager saying that you aren’t allowed to go in the frozen food section.” And again, the puzzled look, and I say, “you’re so hot they are afraid you will melt everything.”
— Jason Houston, TX 02/17/2009 Reply
Here is a cheesy pick-up line:
“Hey gorgeous, I noticed you right away because your eyes and smile were like a beacon of light in a sea of darkness [wink, wink].”
— Mike from Pittsburgh 02/17/2009 Reply
How much does a polar bear weigh?
(I don’t know?)
Enough to break the ice…what’s your name?
Hahahaha.
— Toby from Pittsburgh 02/17/2009 Reply
— Eric 02/17/2009 Reply
Funny Pick-up move: Make eye contact with the lady of your choice, follow this with kissing each bicep and in your best Italian mob voice yell out “BADA BING” and finish with a quick up and down of the eyebrows.
— Phil S., West Virginia 02/17/2009 Reply
Is that a mirror in your pocket or do I see myself in your pants?
— Dave B 02/17/2009 Reply
Years ago I was in a bar in Boston. I ordered a Scotch & soda but the bartender didn’t mix it. So I stirred it with my finger and took a sip. A second later I got a tap on the shoulder. I turned and a woman said, “excuse me, can I borrow your stirrer?” I was pretty ripped and I didn’t realize what she meant and I just said, “uh, sure.” Unfortunately she was gone by the time I realized she was trying to pick me up. Oh well.
— Ty in NYC 02/17/2009 Reply
Why are all the worst of the cheesy pick up lines coming from Pittsburgh? It sort of explains why all, and I mean all, of my girlfriends say you can’t meet decent guys in this town. And as far as meeting people goes—quit hanging out at bars, if you don’t like the people you meet there. If you really want to meet nice people—volunteer to do CHARITY WORK…of any kind. Through your church…oh wait, people don’t go to church anymore…hmmm how about “Big Brothers and Sisters” or “The United Way” or “Habitat for Humanity” or a “Cares” organization (Pittsburgh has “Pittsburgh Cares”). Heck you might as well do some good for others while feeling sorry for yourself!
— G, Pittsburgh 02/17/2009 Reply
Hi Cat! I wanted to share a pick-up line. Yeah, it’s definitely cheesy, but kind of cute, too – or so I thought at the time:
“Do you have a map? Because I just got lost in your eyes.”
— Sue, Pittsburgh 02/17/2009 Reply
You wanna get a 6-Pack & screw or don’t you drink?
— Dave B Williamsburg Va 02/17/2009 Reply
#1 I can tell by the sauce on your chin, you like Italian food. #2 I admire a woman that isn’t dictated to by fashion. #3 Care for a breath mint?
OK, so they never work, but usually got me a beer from some guy that laughed.
— RAS Irwin, PA 02/17/2009 Reply
This is the best pickup line I’ve heard recently. Approach a girl and say “Excuse me, but I need to go home and get my library card because girl, I’m checking you out”
— Garrett (Pittsburgh) 02/17/2009 Reply
Best pick up line — find a sugar packet or sweet & low or something similar (the generic substitutions can have hilarious names!) and then give the packet to someone and say “you dropped your name tag.” My friend used to do this all the time with hysterical responses.
— Maureen, Bethel Park, PA 02/17/2009 Reply
Do you sleep on your stomach? (she answers no) Respond with: Can I?
— Mike (Pittsburgh, Pa.) 02/17/2009 Reply
How about worst pickup line ever: Are you into women? Because my wife is.
— Melissa in Philly 02/17/2009 Reply
Best line i ever heard!! On a first date years ago, this guy looks at me and is all smiles and says “I think i just met my fourth wife.” There was NO second date.
— Renee' Pittsburgh 02/17/2009 Reply
I may not be the best looking guy here… but I’m the Only One Talking to You!
— Paul - Mckeesport 02/17/2009 Reply
In the 80s, I was in Columbus visiting friends and we were out at a club. I had on a little pair of black and white patent leather ballerina flats which were designed to look as if there were faces on the top. Some guy came over and said, “I wish I were your shoes, then I could look up your dress.” I don’t remember him at all, but I’ll never forget that line.
— J.A. Harrisburg 02/17/2009 Reply
The WORST pickup line I ever got (and believe it or not, I got it more than once!) was “hey baby what’s your sign?” And I responded, “STOP!”
— Sherry 02/17/2009 Reply
Here’s a good one from years ago – a friend of mine was reading the personal ads aloud at lunchtime in the office. A guy that we didn’t know at all comes along, grabs the magazine, and says “you don’t need that” and asks her out.
— NN, New Jersey 02/17/2009 Reply
Here’s one of the all-time cheesiest pick-up lines I’ve ever heard someone use: “Baby, if I could re-write the alphabet, I would put U and I together.” So bad…and I’m pretty sure my buddy got laughed at…or had a drink thrown in his face. I’ll have to ask him if he remembers!
— Scott 02/18/2009 Reply
“hey, aren’t you that Cat’s Call girl?”
— E.W. 90046 02/20/2009 Reply
The worst is when you’re not trying to be cheesy but the woman THINKS you are. Case in point: you see a woman that you’re sure you’ve met before. You say, “I think I know you from somewhere” or “haven’t we met before?” She says no in that “don’t even try it” tone. Happened to me a few times.
— BenT. (chicago) 02/21/2009 Reply
Here’s a pickup line used on me at a bar once. “Baby, I don’t care what kind of drugs you’re on, I think your eyes are beautiful!” Seriously, the guy just walked up to me and said that. I didn’t know whether to laugh or be offended.
— dani M. Crafton 02/22/2009 Reply
You’re so fine, I forgot my pickup line.
— SevenCB, Melbourne Australia 02/23/2009 Reply
Best that I’ve heard – “You look like a speeding ticket to me, because you have fine written all over you”. My question is this: If the line works, is it still considered cheesy?
— Ben Norfolk, VA 02/24/2009 Reply
Yes, a cheesy pickup line is cheesy whether it works or gets a drink thrown in the guy’s face. About that, I once saw a woman throw her drink on a guy just for using a stupid pickup line. It wasn’t offensive but still stupid. I think that reaction was going way overboard.
— Kate Cranberry, PA 02/24/2009 Reply
Dear Readers,
Thanks to everyone who submitted entries in the Best Cheesy Pickup Line contest. Some were hysterical, some were disgusting (but still funny) and some just…were. It was a tough choice, and the winner is: “You’re so fine, I forgot my pickup line.” It’s just cheesy enough, it’s a tad self-effacing, it doesn’t blatantly suggest sex, and it rhymes – which is why somewhere, sometime, it just might work as a funny introduction. The winner received a gift certificate to Amazon.com.
— Cat 03/02/2009 Reply