Dear Cat,
I appreciate your insights. Today’s column was very interesting. Here are my two shekels—if a woman ‘hooks-up’ she is a slut. It’s much better to ‘hook-up’ on the honeymoon and have a lifelong marital commitment. Your column is entertaining and thought provoking. Keep up the good work.

Hey Cat,
The last Cat Poll about the guy who carries his girlfriend’s undies around with him kinda surprises me that people don’t think it’s hot. I’ve carried girlfriends’ bras and socks (clean ones) in my bag if I know I’m not going to see them for a few days. Is that any different than women who smell their guy’s shirts and pillows or wear their boxers? —Dave (Memphis, TN)

Dear Dave,
Good point.
—Cat

Hi Cat,
Kiss him first and kiss him great is what every man wants. Maybe not every time or for the first kiss but women should really follow that advice and not shy away from stepping up to the plate especially if the guy can’t kiss. I wouldn’t know about that (I’m a ‘boss’ kisser, to use your word) but I have heard women complain about it. Good call. ...and kind of hot too.
—Josh, just a fan

Cat:
Here we go again with the battle between single people and the married people who impose their wretched spouses on everyone. That woman takes the cake accusing her friends of trying to force her to ‘play single’. And furthermore makes you out to be the one sensible single woman on the planet. She sounds just as unlikable as her husband.—SINCERELY, UNMARRIED, SENSIBLE GUY IN RICHMOND, VA

Dear Cat:
I have debated many times over sending this email. I am not a person that writes to advice columnists, but I sure do like to read them. I look forward to seeing your column every Tuesdayin the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette. I will often follow the link to your website and read the “what’s not printed” and vote in the Cat Polls. The reason for my writing to you is because of a former question regarding why should a guy marry? When I saw the response from the gentleman that gave a very lengthy explanation as to how very little incentive there is for a man to marry versus how MANY there are for a woman to marry, it made me very thoughtful. I feel sorry for this guy. Why? Because I can tell you one very important reason for two people to marry . . . I myself married when I was 29. By the time I turned 40, I was a widow. My husband and I had only 9 years together and for 5 of those 9, he was seriously ill off and on. But in those 9 years, we lived a lifetime. Why should a man marry? Because at the end of the day (and believe me, my husband and I did not enter into our marriage thinking that ‘until death do us part’ meant only a few years), having someone there to hold your hand is about all you can ask for. My husband eventually lost his 5 year battle with cancer. During that 5 year fight, we became closer than couples that have had the good fortune of being married 50 years. We came to cherish each other and I was happy to take care of my husband as it was the only thing left that I could do for him. So, why should a man marry? Why should anyone marry? Because when you find someone that you know will be there for you, care for you, and eventually even help you to the bathroom, you should hold on for dear life.

Hey Cat:
It’s about &^! time that someone speaks up about the serious dangers of obesity. That man should tell his wife how worried he is. My brother did that and his wife was relieved! You are sooo right about how we all have to shut up and keep “weighted” comments to ourselves because we might hurt someone’s feelings. I’m not fat at all, so it’s uncomfortable if the subject of weight comes up, but it’s only brought up by the heavy people who resent that I’m not!! I should mention that I’m a healthy, attractive guy or maybe that’s not important. I want to ask if you’re overweight but it doesn’t matter because your ‘call’ was right on the money either way. —Jason P. (NYC)

The winner of the Cleverity Contest is:
Cleverity must be dealt with severity.
Off with his head!
Better dead than read.

OTHER NOTABLE ENTRIES:

Cat:
When the guy I was dating used the word “cleverity” I terminated him with swift severity. (Oh, and not to put too fine a point on it, “them’s” the breaks.)
.
cleverity revisited! The severity of cleverity is neverity correctivated. No rhyme or reason just gut wrenching humourated. luv your column!
.
I have two suggestions for Cleverity...
1. I can see cleverity now, my date is gone…
2. Obviously, his girlfriend understood the cleverity of the situation.
.
The cleverity of the cat did not go unnoticed by the mice in the house.
.
OJ Simpson hid his meat clever with such cleverity that it has never been located!
.
Cleverity : Antwaan Randle El passed to Hines Ward for the touchdown the with great cleverity, won the Steelers their fifth Super Bowl. I’m sure there are much better yinzer words for that sentence, but you asked for it.
.
He claimed to have cleverity
She left him with celerity.
There’s also no accleveration,
Although there is acceleration.
.
His cleverity proved the brevity of his knowledge of English.

The English language is full of traps for the unwary or ‘functionally literate’. Sometimes there are parallel constructions but more often there are not. Poor ‘trying-to-impress-a-date’ hit two problems: one vocabulary snare, and a fatal pitfall: claiming intelligence. Some qualities can only be demonstrated, never self-anointed.

Cat:
I was reading the question from Working Girl about the woman who can’t go into a store because of the sales people. But what about us salespeople? For a lot of us, this is our only source of income. I work full-time in retail to help support my family. I encounter rude customers on a daily basis. We try our best to help our customers, but sometimes you will get that one person who can’t be satisfied. I was verbally assulted by a customer last week for absolutely no reason other than her dislike of me. I do not deserve to be treated like this. We never get to hear the compliments from happy customers.

Hi, Cat:
I work in an office where you can hear your ‘neighbor’ sneeze so, the standard seems to be not to shout out “Bless you!” across the hallway when someone sneezes. That would actually become quite an annoying distraction. The walls are thin enough as is, and most everyone keeps their office doors open. In an effort to be polite, I personally say “excuse me” after sneezing, albeit not very loudly. I think that works in this environment. In a former job, where we had cubicles, the guy next to me used to repeatedly hawk up loogies without spitting them out. Not that one should spit in the office, but the lack of spitting made it apparent that he was swallowing the giant balls of phlegm, which was even more disgusting than the actual hawking sound itself. Anyway, in a fruitless effort to thwart this grotesque behavior, a coworker would shout out “Throat Cheese!” every time Bill coughed up the proverbial fur ball. He never did cease the loogie-launching behavior, but the “Throat Cheese!” retort always got me very “choked up.” My current next-door neighbor audibly passes gas! Now, how heinous is that?
—Missing the Throat Cheese