Good morning Cat :)
Some good snippets in the P-G this a.m. and I would have to agree with you on the first two. Take for example a friend of mine. She got a card for Motherâs Day and a pair of sunglasses that she picked out only because her husband didnât know what to buy her, and yet, he took a good deal of time to pick something out for a woman with whom he works and doesnât know as well as his wife. Of course, this is the same guy that didnât even give her a card on her birthday, but did give a card and a few presents about a week after when then entire family was there to âhelpâ celebrate. Call me callous, or finicky as a cat, but, I feel that everyone deserves at the very least a card on their birthday! As for the original thought, wallet with or without the coin pocket, I can honestly see both sides, but perhaps she is being picky. As far as cheating, well, cheating is cheating, not being an angel and having done it, then having it done to me, it hurts no matter what the âinfractionâ is. Bottom line, if you are unhappy, get out, kids or no kids, married or just going out. As I stated, I did it and saw the hurt that it caused, then had the tables turned. Now I know…..... no more rocking chairs for this long tailed cat. I am a Leo, so it counts. Stay cool Cat :)
Hi Cat,
I just wanted to chime in about that question with the girl who got invited to her old friend’s baby shower after years of not speaking. That exact same thing happened to me three times. In my case I had spoken to the friends a couple times since the ‘old days’ but nothing more than that. I kind of felt used or something, like I was good enough to contact when it came to an occasion where I could give a gift, but nothing else. I think that happens to people all the time although it’s probably a woman thing more than a man thing.
Hey Cat,
Count me in with your calls this week (well except for the one about hair conditioner because I donât know.) Iâm allll about marriage. The day my wife said yes was the best for me so far. Been married two years and Iâd do it again if I could. And that dude with the pics of the funeral? We laughed too. We couldnât help it. Ok, Iâm going to steal my wifeâs conditioner and see how silky it makes me : )
Hi Cat,
Iâm a regular reader of your column, a regular visitor to the website, and Iâm also a regular voter in the Cat Polls. I have to admit there have been a few polls where Iâve voted more than once, so sue me! Since Iâm such a âparticipatoryâ fan I think I have the right to ask this question and get an honest to goodness answer. Do you ever vote in the Cat Polls and if so, have you ever voted more than once?? Itâs ok you can admit it, (thatâs a joke, Iâm hoping to be clever or funny enough to get posted on the Whatâs NOT Printed stuff). Thanks. —Brian, Seattle, WA
Dear Brian,
Of course Iâve voted in Cat Polls, who can resist them? The honest answer is: I’ve never cast more than one vote, but I’ve wanted to. Because youâre such a participatory reader (gotta dig that), of course you made the Whatâs NOT Printed list. But you better keep reading and participating or youâll get demoted.—Cat
Regarding the funeral photo thing—I personally agree with you about that. I’ve always found that very bizarre but I’ve also seen when I’ve gone to small-town funerals that it seems to be a custom there. I’ve even seen people pose by the open casket for a picture. I have to tell you that coming back from a funeral, my younger sister and I started joking in the airport about the possibilities, like holding up the deceased’s hand to wave to the camera, maybe make like we’re all trying to climb in the casket with the deceased, etc. But this all may point to the lack of stability in my family. ANYWAY…I’m guessing that it is a small-town thing to do that. I’ve never seen a camera at a funeral in a city. To give you some perspective on the social aspect of a funeral in a small town, I’ll tell you this quick story: I was at the funeral of a great aunt in a small town in eastern-PA some years ago. Just as the funeral was beginning, one of two women sitting behind me said to the other that they were at the wrong funeral. There was a pause and the other said “Let’s just stay.” And they were sitting near a door!
Cat –
It’s Strictly Biology: The more women I have sex with, the more likely I am to pass on my seed/blood/lineage. More women also increases the likelihood of having higher quality offspring. Also, unlike women, there is no real risk (aside from STDs) in having sex; in theory I could bust a nut in one woman, then another 15 minutes later – The more the better. I could have a limitless number of offspring gestating at any given time. A woman can only have one offspring at any given time, thus if she gets impregnated by an inferior man then she’s at risk. Additionally, when she is pregnant she is in a state of vulnerability and needs protection: thus the desire for marriage (even if not’s the father’s child). As is evident, fidelity and marriage don’t really correlate, so biologically speaking, for a woman marriage makes lots of sense, and for a male it makes none unless that’s the only way he gets the regular Punanny. (thus a large reason for cheating once a male has an offspring with a woman) Obviously, these issues go well beyond biology, but if you look at the core impetus behind most human behavior it really does come down to our nature. In the current context: If men are getting laid without marriage, then they have NO true inner reason to tie the knot. Only external factors such as family/social pressure, or even kindness/care for a specific mate would lead him to consider it (but it still goes against his nature). The only men who willingly seek marriage are those who won’t get laid without it or who are under some spell by their mate who has convinced them she is superior to him and that he needs to keep her tied down. Or finally, if they are too lazy to chase tail, and they want it served to them easily and regularly. It’s women that have the clock that’s ticking away, and it’s women that have a harder time getting laid when they get old. Think about the question this way….
For the sake of argument, put this ‘notion’ of ‘love’ aside, and can you think of any practical reasons why men should get married? There are plenty for women… Very very very few for men.
Hey Cat
Heard you on the radio w/ Johnny Mac (5-3-07). That was funny, you said he hit you with his wad. All this time Cat was dirty and we didn’t know it. Nah that was funny girl. The office boys and me have a new cat poll for ya – how many people think cat’s voice is sexy and she should speak her column instead of write it? And you’re single too shwiiing! Keep it up girl, when you on the air next?
Dear Shwing,
Happy you and your office boys liked it. Keep checking catscall.com for my next radio gig.
—Cat
About your poll on the fear of marriage... It is so easy today to find a variety of women to have sex with that there is no need or, for many guys, no sense in, getting married. I know it sounds like an easy cop out but all my single friends (I’m married now after a long wait) agree that women and particularly younger women are being “taught” by much of our society to go after men and that casual sex is ok. We’d like to think casual sex is ok but let’s face it, that devalues most sex and relationships while making it harder to find real and fulfilling relationships. I sowed my wild oats and had a couple dozen sexual relationships before marriage, so I am not much better. But, my advice is to try to NOT be the girl in the videos or on the internet, or the Paris Hilton of your social circle. I am not saying your reader is like that but it should be a concern for women in general. After all, so long as women make it easy for men to be the nomads we want to be, marriage is not so appealing. I know I am simplifying this and a lot more can be said, but this will have to do for a start.
Why are men hesitant to marry today? I could not vote because none of your answers are what I know to be true. Before the “sexual revolution” of the 1960’s, decent men who were in love with decent girls always married in order to have sex with them. They had to, because “good girls didn’t” outside of marriage. There was an expression, “Why should you buy the cow when you can get the milk for free.” Today, with all the taboos lifted, a man seldom is faced with the possibility of having to “buy the cow to get the milk.” Result, no strings, just lots of hook-ups. The problem is… women want commitment… always have. Today’s young women are frustrated. When women finally wake up again, and stop “giving it for free ’ and return to waiting for a wedding band, men will again be willing to marry for love and sex. How do I know? I lived it, and so did all the women of my generation. We, and the men we married, wouldn’t have had it any other way.
Cat – A pertinent reason for men not to get married was left out of your poll: Legally, financially, and ultimately emotionally, it’s a bad gig for men today to get married, despite outdated statistics claiming the contrary.
