Dear Cat:
I was hoping you could help settle a debate between me and my dumb male friend with one of your Cat Polls. Hereâs the issue⦠I think that most women would prefer to receive a fantastic full body/foot massage, go shopping, and/or eat a guilt-free delicious dessert than have sex (even sex that results in a fantastic orgasm). With his wee little male brain, he cannot even conceive how this may be possible. He thinks women are just as obsessed with sex as men are. Please please puhlease run a Cat Poll to show this Neanderthal what women really want.—DEVOTED POLL TAKER
Dear Devoted,
Dig it, great idea. Cat Polls can aspire to no higher purpose than to settle debates! Yours would be the first women-only poll and I’d be curious to see the results (oops, we know what curiosity did to the cat…). I’ll tell you what – since there are other poll requests in the pipeline, if others read your idea and write to express the same interest, yours will make the next poll.
Cat:
I don’t think a pro-con list is the absolute worst idea in the world if you have to choose between two relationships. Sometimes you like both people in different ways and one might be better for fun and the other might be better suited for something serious. I see your point and basically I agree with your ‘call’ but I’m just saying a list isn’t always going to be a bad idea, especially for a man like that ; )
Thanks, Charles D. (Portland)
Cat,
They say you learn something new everyday. Today I learned how overwhelmingly bizarre some of your readers are. I love that the fact that this guy who mentioned to the ex’s friends that she likes to do blow are harping on the fact that he ‘tattled’ on her rather than the fact he could have just potentially saved her life by doing so. The fact that she’s so pissed means that this is an aspect of her life that she obviously isnt proud of and is hiding from her friends. If they’re any kind of friends worth a s**t they’ll try and get her help. Meanwhile, for the people nominating this guy for March’s Doucheface of the Month, if this guy had said nothing and this girl wound up dead of an overdose, these would be the same people bitching that this guy could have saved her life had he just said something.
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How nice, Cat, that you give advice saying that a woman who told someone she was dating that she occasionally used drugs that it was OK to tell other people that. This no doubt was told him in confidence. Your advice goes against the grain here, it says that anything someone says to you, or that you assume or ‘know’ is fair game and that we can tell anybody anything we know about someone. How freakin gross.
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Hi Cat:
Another great column—I look forward to reading them every week. However, I have to disagree somewhat with your answer to the guy who split with his girl for doing drugs. While it is true that he has the right to be honest about his life, etc., I think discretion is the better part of valor—right? Her drug use is her business to share, not his. Just my opinion. Keep up the great work!
Love that beret !But more so,I would love you to drop your jeans and bend over.
Dear Reader,
a) It’s not a beret. b) You are a freak. c) Mail like yours is how other readers satisfy their curiosity about the creepy email I get. Thanks!
Cat,
I’m your newest fan. Just found your column and think it is great. I was reading the Unprinted and it is just a hoot. What is up with the guys who commented on the 41 year old woman dating the younger guy? I don’t know about them, but age is not the first topic of conversation I ever had when dating. So, should I assume that Demi Moore is the only attractive woman over 40 in America, come on! I am 42 and recently took my 17 year old son to take his drivers test. The woman working there insisted that I was not his mother because I didn’t look old enough to have a 17 year old son. I had to show my ID along with his birth certificate to prove I was his mom and not his sister. The old double standard persists, men can date younger women but women can’t date younger men??
Cat,
That guy Waiting On A Friend is finding what everyone eventually does about some of their old ‘best friends’ from years before. People grow up and apart, yet for some reason so many people have trouble accepting that. It’s not a bad thing to let go of the old because it gives you more time to focus on the new.
Sincerely,
Jan, Cleveland, OH
Dear Cat:
Hello from sunny and warm Boca Raton, Florida. I imagine you are looking at one of Pittsburgh’s legendary grey, overcast skies, but I do hope that is not the case. I did not respond to your earlier poll about when or if a woman should contribute to the costs of dating, but I would like to do so now. I am what you call “old school”. When I take a woman out on a date, it is totally out of the question for her to even think of paying for anything. I tip all the valets, pay for parking, dinner, movies, plays, concerts, cocktails and anything else that comes up. I have had women offer to pay for a round of drinks or dessert on a first date, but I would have none of that. It is the responsibility, no, the duty of the man to take care of all things material as the dating process begins. I believe that after several dates, perhaps sometime after the fifth date, that it may be appropriate for the woman to maybe buy lunch, or the movie tickets. However, it would be a long time before I would think it acceptable for her to pay for dinner. I believe that we have certain “roles”, for lack of a better word, when it comes to dating and relationships. One of those roles is for the woman to be courted, and for the man to do the courting. Part of that courting process is for the man to pay. The best part is when I am in a courtship, I LOVE spending money on my girl. Nothing pleases me more than being able to provide things and events for her. Making her happy is all that matters. The spending of money is barely a consideration in that regard. Have an awesome day. I look very much forward to Tuesday’s when your column appears. It’s just not a Tuesday without my weekly dose of my Feline Philosopher!
Dear Cat,
I canât remember the last time I read words in a fân newspaper that gave me the stomach flip feeling in the good way. I donât live in Pittsburgh and I’ve never read your column before today. (I went to Pittsburgh one time in my life for a Steelers game and thought âchances are Iâll never have a reason to see this city again but Iâm glad I cameâ). Iâm here at work googling cat toys for my girlfriend and found your website by accident. I read your latest column and itâs cool as hell that you used the word sublime to describe what it feels like when you find that one right person. You obviously have been there before, or youâre there now (or you just know what you want). Iâm here to say itâs the most fân perfect word in the world. Thatâs exactly how I feel about my girlfriend. I donât know what it takes to get comments posted on your website (I assume a lack of profanity among other things) but Iâll tell you this: you created a new fan today Cat. His name is Sam and he lives in San Francisco, CA. Keep up the great work, stay smart, cute as hell, and donât stop putting it out there. See, I knew Pittsburgh had great s**t going for it. Now back to those damn cat toys.
—Sam, San Francisco, CA
Single Dad says he is four months “separated” from his wife. He is still married and shouldn’t be dating at all! Get that divorce. Then try the internet. It worked for me.
CAT:
This is for Give A Little
I don’t mind paying for a date especially if I am the one who asked the guy out. In my dating experience if I offered to pay, whether I was asked out or I did the asking out, I was always thought of as easy and/or not enough of a challenge. It took all the fun out of the date. If at all possible when chit chatting with the person you want to ask out, talk to them about it. Work it into the conversation. Don’t bring it out of left field. Then go from there. If you can talk about, agree/compromise, not be judged or be judgmental and respect the other person’s feelings on the subject, think about how compatible you are, and all the other things you will be able to work through as the relationship grows!
—Single Female in Nashville
