Cat,
Being single over the holidays sucks the big one but you make a few decent suggestions. Like the one about finding one thing and doing it 100% (harder for single people but I get ya). Wait you weren’t talking about sex, or were you?? ——100% DOER
Cat, you wrote: “Ringless in Seattle was notably hush-hush about the details? I wonder why.”
Probably something simple like not thinking that the details mattered. He (or was it she, I forget) probably thought this was a simple yes-or-no question. No need to look for complex motives. So says Occam’s Razor.—Israel P. (writing from Israel)
Cat,
You know a guy who married a one night stand? What’s his name? Where does he live? I don’t believe this person exists. He should be studied and analyzed for the benefit of mankind. It gives me hope to know someone like that is around.
In follow up to Ringless in Seattle, if the engagement ring was expensive, he should consult an attorney or look into taking the matter to small claims court (subject to the damages limitations) because, at least in Pennsylvania, an engagement ring must be returned under current law if the marriage does not occur. It is considered a conditional gift. If married, the ring becomes marital property. Obviously, the law may be different in Washington state, but he should check on it. Also, while I agree that, if he did something aggregious to his fiance, causing the breakup, he may want to leave the matter alone; she cannot just keep the ring if he wants it back. In this case, the law and etiquette agree!—A Non Attorney
Hi Cat:
Another great column today—just a note, though:
Your last letter is/was to settle a dispute as to who gets the engagement ring after a breakup. Morals and etiquette aside, courts have ruled that if the engagement ring was given as a gift (e.g., birthday, Christmas, etc.), then the woman can keep the ring. Otherwise, it should be returned.
I was in a similar situation and the ex-idiot threatened to sue me if I didn’t give the ring back. I did the research myself and then consulted with an attorney friend of mine. I was glad to be rid of the ex-idiot AND the ring (although, I miss my bling).
Regards—and happy holidays.
Cat:
I read your column every week online and this week I think the two persons (one with the money loaning and the one with the engagement ring issue) has to watch the judge shows on TV. They are so full of these same situations you think they would have learned by now. I hope I have been of some help.—Okeeboy in Florida..
Did you realize what you were writing when you mentioned the pearl necklace ????? Methinks you did. Rock it, that had me laughing all the way to work.
Dear Cat,
I wrote to you a few weeks ago and you never wrote back. I thought you said that you personally write back to everyone? I understand that maybe I wouldn’t hear from you the same day or anything but I thought definitely within a week or two. My comments weren’t rude or anything so…? —Still Waiting
Dear Still: The only explanation would be that I deleted your mail, thinking it was spam. Always remember to put something ‘telling’ in the subject line or I can’t differentiate legitimate mail from junk mail. And you’re right that I usually do not respond same-day. I apologize for my unintentional neglect. If you wish, please send your letter again and I will be happy to respond to it.
Cat,
Seriously, how in the hell, or maybe why in the hell, would you break up with someone in a text message? Are they too lazy to go in the back yard, build a fire and send a smoke signal? I mean, I get that technology is making things more and more impersonal on an almost daily basis. I send more text messages in a day than I do make phone calls. Even still, even for a cynic like me, breaking up via text is just heartless. I was broken up with via e-mail so I can somewhat relate. Maybe she sent the e-mail because her cell phone service was down and couldnt text. I’ll bet you’re getting swamped on this.
Dear Cat…First off, I love your articles!!
I read your article about marrying a one-night stand… I do think it can happen. I met my fiance back in December of 2002… it is now December of 2006, we got engaged back in May of 2006. However, I did sleep with him the first night I met him…should I have…NO…but I did. I did worry if he would call me after the fact. He called me the next day we have been together since. Our relationship is great. I guess I was very lucky. Prior to my fiance, I had been with the same guy for 10 years, always 100% faithful, so basically, when I went out with my fiance it was very spontaneous. I did regret it, however everything did work out for the best!!
