I donât agree with you very often but on that first call you hit it dead on. People would save themselves a hell of a lot of time and angst if they spoke up and stopped waiting for everyone else to validate their feelings. Ok dude, so youâre in love with her? Tell her already! Youâve gone without her for this long so you have nothing to lose if she doesnât like you back.
Bravo for telling that mother of two to get her act together. Sheâs engaged to one man, sleeping with another, and sheâs worried about having a little fun?? Thatâs not even an engagement if you ask me. And Iâd just bet the man sheâs engaged to isnât even the father of those two children. Makes me sad what those kids will learn from her. If they donât even have a real engagement, just think how pitiful the marriage will be. Thanks for listening to me rant.
Dear Ms. Cat:
I stumbled across your column about two years ago and I waited this long to write because I think advice columnists are b.s. Then it dawned on me: here I’ve been wanting to write to you, so it’s not all that far fetched to think there are others. I like your ‘calls’, they’re kind of catchy. And you’re not boring. And you’re cute. And you say a lot in a small amount of space. Basically I don’t feel like I’ve wasted time reading you. Let’s hope you’re not actually an ugly broad or a 50yr old man and that you don’t get long-winded and boring anytime soon. —Chicago ‘Fan’
Dear Cat,
Curious as to your thoughts on something. I’ve tried talking to my spouse about bringing a third person into the bedroom. After 12 years of marriage, things have gotten boring to the point of maybe once or twice a year. I told her I thought it might bring about some excitement to bring a third party in, preferably a man, so that she could “double her pleasure”. I think it might be exciting to watch her with someone else. She is completely against this idea since she thinks it would then allow me to sleep with another woman. I’m not interested in that. I’m only interested in bringing a spark back into the bedroom and making sure she enjoys herself.
Dear Reader,
If ever there were a time for “right church, wrong pew”. Good call on wanting to spark things up, not so good on introducing suspicion into your wife’s mind – especially considering how unsexual things have been for so long. Never underestimate the power of classic seduction, true romance, and asking her exactly what she wants – not just in the bedroom. A stranger can’t do those things with sincerity. The third-party route requires an immense amount of trust and openness; something you two have to build (perhaps all over again). She might need to know just how much pleasure you get from seeing her happy – in bed and elsewhere, so do whatever it takes to convince her. Cat’s Call: That means YOU doing it -don’t outsource the job.
Breaking up by text messaging? Wow, society has reached a new low. I have to say though that any method of break up is preferable to the “disappearing act.” People who pull that crap shouldn’t even bother to date. Maybe if they were on the receiving end of the dissapearing act they’d think twice. Have some balls! Step up and say it. The disappearing act is just another of the lousy dating games.
Dear Cat:
Making new year’s resolutions is a tired concept by people who make lists and do nothing else. The only lists worth making are the ones where you can check off what you actually completed. People should learn to make lists of what they’ve done instead of just what they plan to do. Talk talk talk, it’s old. Do something already. From: Do It, Done
Dear Do It,
It’s tough to remember everything you have to do in order to get to the point where everything’s done. But I hear ya, and now everyone else does, too. Happy New Year.
Cat:
As a fairly freqent breakerupper, I have to say I prefer the disappearing act. In person or on the phone is the hardest.
Dear Reader,
If you’re a ‘frequent breakerupper’, my hunch is you’re not the best relationshipper to begin with… Cat Note: Disappearing isn’t breaking up.
Hi Cat,
Just wanted to comment on a comment…or I guess more accurately, a call :) Cat’s Call: People are ultimately transparent to those who are looking. That is just BRILLIANT. Have a nice day.
Smart, attractive women that aren’t married fascinate me. It’s like finding an Armani suit on a 50-percent clearance rack. You keep standing there thinking, “either this is a great find or the sleeves are two different sizes and THAT’S why it’s still here.”
Cat: Merry holidays to you. I opened my presents with the hope that you would pop out of one of them. Instead I got sweaters and a hammer. Iâve never used a hammer except once in high school shop class. I couldn’t foresee a time when I would need it so I used it to pound the gift boxes into oblivion. The gift giver was not amused but it made me feel better. Now I know why men like tools. Take it easy and happy new year.
